As I Was Listening to Him Spill His Guts...

I couldn't believe what I was hearing.  His older brother was addicted to methamphetamines and had been in and out of rehab for the past 5 years.  But what was really heartbreaking was how badly it was hurting his mother, with it being her first born son and all, and them spending the better part of his brother's childhood homeless and sleeping in their car.  As I listened to my acquaintance divulge detail after detail about how, when his brother was on drugs, he was a person he didn't know, let alone recognize with all the weight he'd lost, I began to get the feeling that these were things that I shouldn't be knowing.  That this was a private matter.  And all of this started with one quick geographical fact: That Iowa is one of the largest producers of meth in the world.  With that one sentence came a few revealing sentences from him, which in turn produced a few empathetic head nods from me, and then flood gates were released.  I felt I had to let him know that I understood (even though I couldn't fully) in order for him to not feel bad about his brother's predicament.  With all of the nods and active listening techniques, I began to feel like a liar.  How could I possibly understand him?  Was he going to realize that I had no idea where he was coming from, and then feel betrayed?  But then I began to understand that those feelings that I was having didn't matter.  What mattered (to him, at that time) was that he had a captive audience, who was sincerely listening and trying to understand, to hear him and not judge him.  This is a very important concept to remember when conducting formative research; you may have no connection or understanding of the group or person you are collecting information from... but that's the point.  Otherwise, why are you still listening?